Sunday, July 20, 2014

Therapy session...

A group of friends like to go to Sunday breakfast and often invite me along. They know it gives me a chance to get away for a few hours.
This morning they called, and told me when and where to meet them.  After we had eaten we sat talking with the last of our coffees.  That is when I explained that I was turning over a new leaf and was going to become a gracious older lady. I thought this would be greeted with happy smiles and nods of approval.  Not, the stares, the spewing of coffee all over the place, and then the fall out of your chair laughter...  After one of them had regained his composure to some extent, he looked at me and said "You are not made that way, it isn't going to happen, and I for one would hate to see you even try."  


Friday, July 18, 2014

Adventures with Dad...

Not even a glass of wine, candles, and bubble bath can take away from the on going adventures in fishing with Dad.

He was bound and determined to be on the river salmon fishing yesterday.  With sardine wraps on the flat fish lures done, gas in the fuel tanks, battery charged and his one beer in the cooler with my water bottle, off we went. Got on the water and hauled ass down river to a spot he heard was hot. Of course everyone else had heard it was a hot spot too, so we were knee deep in boats of all shapes and sizes.  Dad's boat is so old & ugly everyone assumes we know what the hell we are doing. If they only knew, the probability of the tall white haired Viking driving the jet boat cutting their lines as she zooms by is higher than they think. 
Dad struggling to put the lures on as we are speeding down river, casts out and nearly goes over board. He hollers at me to put my line in and slow troll back up river.  "Nope, you fish, I'll handle the boat."  There are other boats to dodge, as well as debris in a fast current.  The ol bastard smiles and says "Ok, I'll just put your line in for you!" 
After four hours of not one single bite, and watching the other guys pull in salmon and steelhead Dad says, "let's take'r in Sis, there aren't any fish here."  
Back at the dock, we put her on the trailer, tighten down the gear, and Dad speeds out of the launch site, only to slam on the brakes mere inches from the big bump going out the gate. As I'm pealing myself off the dashboard, I remind him that it would be nice if next time he gave a bit of a warning before he does that.
So there we are traveling North at speed on I5 to get to our off ramp when there is a Boom, Crunch, Bang!  "Dad, pull off on the shoulder, and turn on your flashers, I think we blew a tire on the trailer."  "What?"  I repeat myself, and he gets her off into the breakdown lane.  He starts to try to get out of the car and take a look see.  Traffic is heavy and fast.  "Oh Hell No, stay in the car!"  I get out on the passenger side, yep the whole tire/rim has come off the single axle trailer.  Get back in, still telling Dad to stay put, call the tow company and get that started.  Tow shows up and says he can't fix it and will have to put it on the truck and take it home for us.  Fine, let's gett'r done. Ol Ugly is back home now, parked, and waiting for a new axle and a few other repairs.
Oh, how could I have forgotten to tell you about the highway patrolman that came and talked to us, went in search of our wayward tire, came and talked to us, expedited the tow, came and talked to us, and used his flashers to slow up traffic til we could get off the freeway.  Well, he came and talked to us because Dad kept chatting him up, asking him questions, complementing him on his hat! All the while I'm staring at Dad with a "What Are You Doing Look?". When the patrolman went back to his truck for the last time... Dad turns to me, cocks a wizened eyebrow and says, "Nice looking man, about your age..."  

Saturday, July 12, 2014


Yes, it is hot and dry here
 but, the bear wasn't around so I took the new small Sig to a far ranch for a class with the guru and to get some range time.
Left town at dawn and came home five hours later dirty, hot, and tired

but happy as could be with the little Sig. Another 450 rounds or so should have me were I need to be for the next class. 
My kayaking buddies were on the river, dang it. But I had already put in for this class a long time ago, and paid my money. 
There were a bunch of gals there, all short, most small.  I'm not that tall at 5'7" but I'm noticing more and more that I feel like I'm towering over the other women.  Put boots or heels on me and I feel like an Amazon. My son is 6'4" so I do get a little taste of being small when he's around.
Really, really need to find a relief care giver so I can go North to see my boy, feel small, get hugs, and be called maw. 

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Texas fold'm...

Since I know your waiting with baited breath... I did not prank Dad's poker party. The voice of common sense reared it's ugly head and said this would not be a good thing to do to the ol guy.  

I did set up the poker tables & the bar, iced down three brands of beer, put out numerous  types of nuts, pretzels, mexi dip & tortilla chips. I did not put the popup Dolly in the ice chest... there are several duffers with heart conditions in the group.
While I was fixing dinner for mother, and they were waiting for the last couple of guys to get here, they held a lengthy discussion about cooking verses eating out when you are single. What! Who talks about cooking at Poker Night?  My assumption (back in Dad's Mission post) that cooking class might be the better approach was shown to be valid, Dammit.
When they started talking about housekeeping skills as a single guy, I beat a fast retreat to mother's room and watched the Giants game til they left.  What has my Dad been telling them? Who in heck talks about cooking & cleaning at Poker Night, I don't even know any gracious ol ladies that do that!
C came too, as he and his wife had gotten back from white watering in Oregon. He & his wife are sportsmen to the max, and have been so good for Dad. C is southern born & raised, likes to take on just about anything, and does it with class. He's perfect for his job of vetting future gov squirrels. C & wife have made a pact with me that we will keep dad as active as possible, and they will not drag ol guys by for me to meet, thank you Jesus!
The guys left laughing and with a good amount of Dad's money. As I was cleaning up, thinking that I had dodged a bullet with the match making business, Dad said, "I didn't know that Lin was single, he's a really nice guy, about your age, did you talk to him?" 
"Aaah, no. What does he do?"
"Nothing, as far as I know."

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Five card no peeky, everything is wild...

I have been reduced
 to a dress wearing ol cowgirl in shit kickers who can't afford the the reservation for three nights at the romantic mountain cabin retreat for two. You remember the place...  That would be here:

Not that money means all that much to me, but $6,414 is a chunk of change, or a new set of teeth.  Besides that, there is no special guy to take along. 
I could really use some advice about guys. Do you think it's the prickly rascal part, pranker part, lets ride like the wind, laugh til we cry, sit by the fire part, read books part, what???  Because I'm stumped, I tried for two whole days to be a gracious, sweet older lady, and was doing well (or so I thought) until, well let's just say that man at the feedstore should have been able to catch that bag of steer feed I tossed to him. He works there for cry'n out loud.
Possibly it has been too long since a bit of pranking has happened.  An opportunity not taken is wasted, so for Dad's poker party tomorrow night...