Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Dad's Mission...

  A small plea for prayers.

Dad is on a mission...
He is either trying to do me in or find me a boyfriend.  He is being aided by mother, or possibly it was a plan started by her, I don't know which. I do know they are working it. 

Every evening as I'm feeding mother dinner she asks me, "Have you got a boyfriend yet?" As I'm changing her she says, "Your still here, I thought you would have a boyfriend by now!" Whereupon she looks at Dad and gives him a cackling laugh.
As for Dad...
First, he insisted that I take him golfing, where he bragged up my nonexistent playing abilities to everyone male.  When that produced no action he claimed he wasn't going to golf anymore due to weakness in his legs.
Next, he arranged for us to go trap shooting with the guys. The guys were kind (or desperate) enough to include us. I can shoot shotguns, so that didn't end well.
Next, he bought the fishing boat, and after teaching me how to pack the wheel bearings on the trailer (a seemingly necessary skill) he put me driving the boat up and down the river. He has done a lot of trolling for fish & other things, but no bites.
Now, he has wrangled his way into the good graces of a friend of a friend with a small plane. Some of the first words out of his mouth to the pilot were, "I want to teach Sis to fly, can I borrow your plane."  
"Sure, no problem, just pass the flight physical and pay for the fuel."
This was news to me, I love flying but don't think I'm pilot material. Anyway, I would have chosen helos over fixed wing. 
I didn't want to hurt Dad's feelings, so I figured I'd let the flight physical take this off the table.  I took him up North for his flight physical this morning.  Even with his 4point cane he was stepp'n pretty good coming out of the doc's office.  
"Sis, Doc was great, he graduated flight school the same year I did!" (say what, that makes Doc 90 years old, too!)  "Said I passed, just need a dispensation for my heart surgery in 2000."  
Oh My God! 
I think it's time to suggest they might have better luck with cooking school.


  1. I thought that you cut one of those kayakers out of the herd up at Whiskeytown Res.

    Your father (and mother) are clearly working it the right way - airplane, skeet, boat, golf.

    However, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Cordon Bleu here you come...

    Finding the right somebody is a difficult task. Finding somebody who won't end up biting you (in a bad way, the good way is -- good) and who you are comfortable with is a challenge under the best of circumstances.

    Now if you own a bar, an airplane and a boat, you're clearly on the path to success in anybody's world.

  2. LL: There were no single kayakers with us, and I don't poach.
    I'm lousy at fro-fro mixed drinks, don't have an airplane and the boat is Dad's... no wonder he's having marketing problems.

  3. LOL... "I don't poach" -- great line.
    Love your blog! I've jumped back through some random old posts; you're hilarious!
    ...which by the sounds of it, a sense of humor must help a lot with navigating your parents! :) (Heaven help me if my parents ever start trying to set me up! I too would be pleading for prayers!)

  4. JENNY: Thanks for stopping by and liking what you read. I didn't have the heart to tell LL I have never met Cordon Bleu, though I do have a nodding acquaintance with Sous Vide...

  5. Tell your dad that 'suitable husbands' are on the eye level shelf of aisle six of Walkmart! Yes, I did mean WALKmark. Then remind your Dad that if he is successful, you will be far to busy for driving him places. That should work.

  6. Bring your father to the Reno Air Races in Sept if he's up for the trip. I suspect that he'll be too busy looking at the P-51's to worry about match making.

    The real question for everyone is "where do you meet people who are not insane or ex-cons?" I think that those on-line dating sites are unreliable.

  7. Personally, I think it is great that your parents have a hobby.

  8. Tabor has a great point. What would they do with all that free time if they quit with the matchmaking? Keeps them employed and you never know----

  9. I'd loan my services to ward off Dad, but I'm afraid I'm too much of a sissy for. Not only that, but Mrs. Woodsterman scares me.

  10. I agree with Tabor, but you know they car!

  11. GRANNYMAR: LOL...This would not work with my Dad.
    LL: He won't go because of Mother. Online dating is an unmarked mine field from what I can see...
    TABOR: LOL I just wish they were a bit better at it.
    ARKANSAS PATTI: I live in hope.
    ODIE: Sounds like you have enough on your hands.
    CELIA: Yep, Dad does.

  12. Some years back when I was flying full time, my Dad started questioning me on my "boyfriend". I didn't have one, 10 years with a bipolar alcoholic husband with big fists sort of cured me of the urge to get one, and I was having a ball flying. Dad kept bugging me though. Finally he said "look, I know you have a boyfriend and you're out with him all the time. I even know his name. . . Ron".

    Huh? Then it dawned on me, I penciled in on my calender RON (Remain Overnight) so I knew what clothes to pack.

    If you want to learn to fly, I'd teach you, my CFI is still current, but I am afraid we'd probably get ourselves in a pack of trouble :-)

  13. BRIGID: (At least it didn't take you 40 yrs to get it figured out.)
    Thanks, but I KNOW we would get in a pack of trouble.

  14. I cannot tell you how happy it made my parents for me to find Ron. I had been single for 26 years after my divorce from the children's father. I did a fine job raising the children and I had a good career but I know they wanted me to have a mate. My dad had a stroke shortly after I met Ron and somehow he knew Ron would not only look after me he knew Ron would look after mother and indeed he did when dad died. She loved him as much as I did until her death in 2007. Meanwhile Ron taught me a lot of important things about practical living that had nothing to do with office politics. Pay attention to your parent's guidance now.

  15. I have to echo LL's sentiments and, of course, fly on.

  16. GRANNY ANNIE: You where blessed to have found the love of your life. Thank you for sharing a part of your story.
    LSP: He makes good sense, most of the