Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Seeing Grands...

Colt, Lauren, and Ali in tomato harvest 2014


The downside to not being able to get very far from mom & dad's is I don't get to see my grandkids as much as I want/need. 
The gods may have smiled on me, as I think I have found a good relief caregiver for the folks.  She is a pistol, talks a mile a minute, bonded, actually had dad stumped for a second, and mom just staring at her.  I can be too quiet at times.   She will make things interesting for them, and give me a chance to see my grandkids.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Toys...

I haven't lived in town long enough to know the proper etiquette for what you park in front of your house.

But the neighbors appear to be flaunting their toys...

   

Friday, July 25, 2014

Great Guns...




The pilot, a friend of a friend, saw my new little Sig when he came by to see Dad a while back.  He shoots a lot, and e-mailed me that he was going to a private range, did I want to go along. Oh Gracious me, does a bear...



He's a NRA & Appleseed qualified instructor, as well as a pilot, and a really nice guy. 
 Schedules being what they are, I finally got to go yesterday morning. We went early and I got 5 hours of personal instruction. Lots of rounds put thru the little Sig, lots and lots of different drills. Just a tremendous help!


There were a group of retired Marines there as well and a nicer bunch of guys you couldn't ask for.  They had a huge assortment of pistols and rifles and kept bringing me different ones to shoot.

  
They were awesome guys, I learned a lot, and shot some Great Guns. It was a Really Good Morning, and they invited me back, YeeHaw!!!
 

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Therapy session...





A group of friends like to go to Sunday breakfast and often invite me along. They know it gives me a chance to get away for a few hours.
This morning they called, and told me when and where to meet them.  After we had eaten we sat talking with the last of our coffees.  That is when I explained that I was turning over a new leaf and was going to become a gracious older lady. I thought this would be greeted with happy smiles and nods of approval.  Not, the stares, the spewing of coffee all over the place, and then the fall out of your chair laughter...  After one of them had regained his composure to some extent, he looked at me and said "You are not made that way, it isn't going to happen, and I for one would hate to see you even try."  
Well...

 

Friday, July 18, 2014

Adventures with Dad...

Not even a glass of wine, candles, and bubble bath can take away from the on going adventures in fishing with Dad.


He was bound and determined to be on the river salmon fishing yesterday.  With sardine wraps on the flat fish lures done, gas in the fuel tanks, battery charged and his one beer in the cooler with my water bottle, off we went. Got on the water and hauled ass down river to a spot he heard was hot. Of course everyone else had heard it was a hot spot too, so we were knee deep in boats of all shapes and sizes.  Dad's boat is so old & ugly everyone assumes we know what the hell we are doing. If they only knew, the probability of the tall white haired Viking driving the jet boat cutting their lines as she zooms by is higher than they think. 
Dad struggling to put the lures on as we are speeding down river, casts out and nearly goes over board. He hollers at me to put my line in and slow troll back up river.  "Nope, you fish, I'll handle the boat."  There are other boats to dodge, as well as debris in a fast current.  The ol bastard smiles and says "Ok, I'll just put your line in for you!" 
After four hours of not one single bite, and watching the other guys pull in salmon and steelhead Dad says, "let's take'r in Sis, there aren't any fish here."  
Back at the dock, we put her on the trailer, tighten down the gear, and Dad speeds out of the launch site, only to slam on the brakes mere inches from the big bump going out the gate. As I'm pealing myself off the dashboard, I remind him that it would be nice if next time he gave a bit of a warning before he does that.
So there we are traveling North at speed on I5 to get to our off ramp when there is a Boom, Crunch, Bang!  "Dad, pull off on the shoulder, and turn on your flashers, I think we blew a tire on the trailer."  "What?"  I repeat myself, and he gets her off into the breakdown lane.  He starts to try to get out of the car and take a look see.  Traffic is heavy and fast.  "Oh Hell No, stay in the car!"  I get out on the passenger side, yep the whole tire/rim has come off the single axle trailer.  Get back in, still telling Dad to stay put, call the tow company and get that started.  Tow shows up and says he can't fix it and will have to put it on the truck and take it home for us.  Fine, let's gett'r done. Ol Ugly is back home now, parked, and waiting for a new axle and a few other repairs.
Oh, how could I have forgotten to tell you about the highway patrolman that came and talked to us, went in search of our wayward tire, came and talked to us, expedited the tow, came and talked to us, and used his flashers to slow up traffic til we could get off the freeway.  Well, he came and talked to us because Dad kept chatting him up, asking him questions, complementing him on his hat! All the while I'm staring at Dad with a "What Are You Doing Look?". When the patrolman went back to his truck for the last time... Dad turns to me, cocks a wizened eyebrow and says, "Nice looking man, about your age..."  

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Smalls....

Yes, it is hot and dry here
 but, the bear wasn't around so I took the new small Sig to a far ranch for a class with the guru and to get some range time.
Left town at dawn and came home five hours later dirty, hot, and tired





but happy as could be with the little Sig. Another 450 rounds or so should have me were I need to be for the next class. 
My kayaking buddies were on the river, dang it. But I had already put in for this class a long time ago, and paid my money. 
There were a bunch of gals there, all short, most small.  I'm not that tall at 5'7" but I'm noticing more and more that I feel like I'm towering over the other women.  Put boots or heels on me and I feel like an Amazon. My son is 6'4" so I do get a little taste of being small when he's around.
Really, really need to find a relief care giver so I can go North to see my boy, feel small, get hugs, and be called maw. 


Thursday, July 10, 2014

Texas fold'm...

Since I know your waiting with baited breath... I did not prank Dad's poker party. The voice of common sense reared it's ugly head and said this would not be a good thing to do to the ol guy.  


I did set up the poker tables & the bar, iced down three brands of beer, put out numerous  types of nuts, pretzels, mexi dip & tortilla chips. I did not put the popup Dolly in the ice chest... there are several duffers with heart conditions in the group.
While I was fixing dinner for mother, and they were waiting for the last couple of guys to get here, they held a lengthy discussion about cooking verses eating out when you are single. What! Who talks about cooking at Poker Night?  My assumption (back in Dad's Mission post) that cooking class might be the better approach was shown to be valid, Dammit.
When they started talking about housekeeping skills as a single guy, I beat a fast retreat to mother's room and watched the Giants game til they left.  What has my Dad been telling them? Who in heck talks about cooking & cleaning at Poker Night, I don't even know any gracious ol ladies that do that!
C came too, as he and his wife had gotten back from white watering in Oregon. He & his wife are sportsmen to the max, and have been so good for Dad. C is southern born & raised, likes to take on just about anything, and does it with class. He's perfect for his job of vetting future gov squirrels. C & wife have made a pact with me that we will keep dad as active as possible, and they will not drag ol guys by for me to meet, thank you Jesus!
The guys left laughing and with a good amount of Dad's money. As I was cleaning up, thinking that I had dodged a bullet with the match making business, Dad said, "I didn't know that Lin was single, he's a really nice guy, about your age, did you talk to him?" 
"Aaah, no. What does he do?"
"Nothing, as far as I know."
"Exactly."

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Five card no peeky, everything is wild...

I have been reduced
 to a dress wearing ol cowgirl in shit kickers who can't afford the the reservation for three nights at the romantic mountain cabin retreat for two. You remember the place...  That would be here:




Not that money means all that much to me, but $6,414 is a chunk of change, or a new set of teeth.  Besides that, there is no special guy to take along. 
I could really use some advice about guys. Do you think it's the prickly rascal part, pranker part, lets ride like the wind, laugh til we cry, sit by the fire part, read books part, what???  Because I'm stumped, I tried for two whole days to be a gracious, sweet older lady, and was doing well (or so I thought) until, well let's just say that man at the feedstore should have been able to catch that bag of steer feed I tossed to him. He works there for cry'n out loud.
Possibly it has been too long since a bit of pranking has happened.  An opportunity not taken is wasted, so for Dad's poker party tomorrow night...

Monday, July 7, 2014

Well, all right...



Celia put this quiz up on FB, and hers came back all sweetness & light "Kaylee". I thought well heck that describes me as well, so
I took Zimbio's 'Firefly' quiz and it came back...




Sunday, July 6, 2014

Sunday morning coming down...





We don't have help with mother on the weekends or holidays.  So here we were Sunday morning, after bathing and changing her, I asked what she would like for breakfast.
"Well, what do you have?"  We have oatmeal with blueberries and ice cream. "No, what else do you have?" How about an omelet and fresh fruit. "Well, what kind of omelet?"  One with cheese, tomatoes, and ham. "Well, that might do."  I gave her a glass of orange juice to drink while I was cooking her omelet. She drank down all the orange juice, made a face and said, "That sweet tea sure is bitter." "That's cause it's orange juice, mom." She looks at me like I'm lying through my teeth. Cooked her omelet, and started feeding her.  Five large bites later... "I don't want any of that, it tastes terrible!"  Ok, what would you like?  "Well, what do you have?"  I listed the options while sneaking a cup of blueberry & mandarin orange compote down her.  Pancakes, waffles, toast, ham, bacon, fruit, and eggs, any way you want them.  "Well, Bacon sounds good."
Fix her the bacon, bring it to her and she decides to feed herself. One bite, "that's good bacon".  Four big bites later... "the bacon's too salty, feed it to your dad."  I had already fixed his breakfast, and he was busy playing a hot game of poker on his laptop.  "I don't think he wants the rest of your bacon."  "Yes he does!"  "Dad, do you want the rest of mom's breakfast?"  "Well, what do you have?"  "BACON!" "Sure I never turn down bacon." and so the day begins... 


Rare...




“[Friendship] is a relationship that has no formal shape, there are no rules or obligations or bonds as in marriage or the family, it is held together by neither law nor property nor blood, there is no glue in it but mutual liking. It is therefore rare.”
Wallace Stegner - Crossing to Safety

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Dad's Mission...

  A small plea for prayers.



Dad is on a mission...
He is either trying to do me in or find me a boyfriend.  He is being aided by mother, or possibly it was a plan started by her, I don't know which. I do know they are working it. 

Every evening as I'm feeding mother dinner she asks me, "Have you got a boyfriend yet?" As I'm changing her she says, "Your still here, I thought you would have a boyfriend by now!" Whereupon she looks at Dad and gives him a cackling laugh.
As for Dad...
First, he insisted that I take him golfing, where he bragged up my nonexistent playing abilities to everyone male.  When that produced no action he claimed he wasn't going to golf anymore due to weakness in his legs.
Next, he arranged for us to go trap shooting with the guys. The guys were kind (or desperate) enough to include us. I can shoot shotguns, so that didn't end well.
Next, he bought the fishing boat, and after teaching me how to pack the wheel bearings on the trailer (a seemingly necessary skill) he put me driving the boat up and down the river. He has done a lot of trolling for fish & other things, but no bites.
Now, he has wrangled his way into the good graces of a friend of a friend with a small plane. Some of the first words out of his mouth to the pilot were, "I want to teach Sis to fly, can I borrow your plane."  
"Sure, no problem, just pass the flight physical and pay for the fuel."
This was news to me, I love flying but don't think I'm pilot material. Anyway, I would have chosen helos over fixed wing. 
I didn't want to hurt Dad's feelings, so I figured I'd let the flight physical take this off the table.  I took him up North for his flight physical this morning.  Even with his 4point cane he was stepp'n pretty good coming out of the doc's office.  
"Sis, Doc was great, he graduated flight school the same year I did!" (say what, that makes Doc 90 years old, too!)  "Said I passed, just need a dispensation for my heart surgery in 2000."  
Oh My God! 
I think it's time to suggest they might have better luck with cooking school.