Therapy session...

A group of friends like to go to Sunday breakfast and often invite me along. They know it gives me a chance to get away for a few hours.

This morning they called, and told me when and where to meet them.  After we had eaten we sat talking with the last of our coffees.  That is when I explained that I was turning over a new leaf and was going to become a gracious older lady. I thought this would be greeted with happy smiles and nods of approval.  Not, the stares, the spewing of coffee all over the place, and then the fall out of your chair laughter...  After one of them had regained his composure to some extent, he looked at me and said "You are not made that way, it isn't going to happen, and I for one would hate to see you even try."  

Well...

 

Sunday morning coming down...

We don't have help with mother on the weekends or holidays.  So here we were Sunday morning, after bathing and changing her, I asked what she would like for breakfast.
"Well, what do you have?"  We have oatmeal with blueberries and ice cream. "No, what else do you have?" How about an omelet and fresh fruit. "Well, what kind of omelet?"  One with cheese, tomatoes, and ham. "Well, that might do."  I gave her a glass of orange juice to drink while I was cooking her omelet. She drank down all the orange juice, made a face and said, "That sweet tea sure is bitter." "That's cause it's orange juice, mom." She looks at me like I'm lying through my teeth. Cooked her omelet, and started feeding her.  Five large bites later... "I don't want any of that, it tastes terrible!"  Ok, what would you like?  "Well, what do you have?"  I listed the options while sneaking a cup of blueberry & mandarin orange compote down her.  Pancakes, waffles, toast, ham, bacon, fruit, and eggs, any way you want them.  "Well, Bacon sounds good."
Fix her the bacon, bring it to her and she decides to feed herself. One bite, "that's good bacon".  Four big bites later... "the bacon's too salty, feed it to your dad."  I had already fixed his breakfast, and he was busy playing a hot game of poker on his laptop.  "I don't think he wants the rest of your bacon."  "Yes he does!"  "Dad, do you want the rest of mom's breakfast?"  "Well, what do you have?"  "BACON!" "Sure I never turn down bacon." and so the day begins...