Sunday, July 6, 2014

Sunday morning coming down...





We don't have help with mother on the weekends or holidays.  So here we were Sunday morning, after bathing and changing her, I asked what she would like for breakfast.
"Well, what do you have?"  We have oatmeal with blueberries and ice cream. "No, what else do you have?" How about an omelet and fresh fruit. "Well, what kind of omelet?"  One with cheese, tomatoes, and ham. "Well, that might do."  I gave her a glass of orange juice to drink while I was cooking her omelet. She drank down all the orange juice, made a face and said, "That sweet tea sure is bitter." "That's cause it's orange juice, mom." She looks at me like I'm lying through my teeth. Cooked her omelet, and started feeding her.  Five large bites later... "I don't want any of that, it tastes terrible!"  Ok, what would you like?  "Well, what do you have?"  I listed the options while sneaking a cup of blueberry & mandarin orange compote down her.  Pancakes, waffles, toast, ham, bacon, fruit, and eggs, any way you want them.  "Well, Bacon sounds good."
Fix her the bacon, bring it to her and she decides to feed herself. One bite, "that's good bacon".  Four big bites later... "the bacon's too salty, feed it to your dad."  I had already fixed his breakfast, and he was busy playing a hot game of poker on his laptop.  "I don't think he wants the rest of your bacon."  "Yes he does!"  "Dad, do you want the rest of mom's breakfast?"  "Well, what do you have?"  "BACON!" "Sure I never turn down bacon." and so the day begins... 


16 comments:

  1. Well, having lived at home with mom during some of her last weeks (I was there for a month) doing what you do) I can empathize. My mom was ALWAYS Gracie Allen so she never made sense before the cancer anyway. I just kept one foot in front of the other and she was never angry or in any pain. Dad on the other hand said very little. My MIL on the other hand was a sweet person who thought it was 1930 or 1935 and she was visiting her brother. We did not have help on holidays or weekends either.

    ReplyDelete
  2. TABOR: I'm going into nine months at this, and just wish I was better at it. My mother does not especially like me, or want me here, and therefore feels free to be as difficult as possible.

    ReplyDelete
  3. wow, Brighid-- that is hard work and noble. What endurance you have. There'll be many jewels in your crown! I'll keep you in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  4. JENNY: Thanks for the prayers, they are always welcome, as for the rest not so, just doing what needs doing.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You have to try and not see her as your mother but a frail woman who needs help. Do not take it personally! Patience is so hard for me, but since it was my MIL I could help hubby to let it go. She is not changing who you are...hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My parents are gone. However I did move my 96 year old grandmother in with me and dealt with a lot of that. It's an act of love. And it's exceptionally difficult.

    ReplyDelete
  7. TABOR: I have known how she feels for a long time, and I'm grounded enough to let it go.

    LL: Under that weathered exterior beats the heart of an honorable man.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Grinch heart---3 sizes too small.

    ReplyDelete
  9. LL: Size has nothing to do with it...
    ok, I.am.not going to laugh, dammit!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Brighid, you are doing a great job. Honest.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Gonna "talk back" to you on your own blog. You're wrong. ALL I said IS true. I know from your vantage point it might seem purely obligatory... but that's not the only vantage point. The work you're dong IS hard, and caring for dependent people IS a noble line of work, even if it doesn't feel that way. 9 months? That's endurance! Fact. And God notices and he rewards. Fact. <3

    ReplyDelete
  12. Our parents said their children would never have to do that and moved into a retirement community that took them through ever stage of their elder years. Cottage independent living to apartment assisted living to nursing home living to hospice care. Believe it or not, I envy what you are doing. We visited often and we stood by their beds to say goodbye. Strangers did all the rest. Yet I will do the same because I don't want my children to do what you are doing.

    ReplyDelete
  13. GRANNYMAR: Best I can say is I'm trying.

    JENNY: Thanks. Never be concerned about expressing yourself here. I have gotten tired of all the posts on blogs were no one wants to hear a differing opinion.

    GRANNY ANNIE: Long ago I instructed my kids to not do this for me as well. It is the right way for me.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Care giving is the hardest and least appreciated job. But it is one that someday you will not regret in the least having done. You would only regret not doing it.

    ReplyDelete
  15. ARKANSAS PATTI: I don't regret it. But I in no way want my kids to have to do it for me, and have made plans accordingly.

    ReplyDelete