Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Five card no peeky, everything is wild...

I have been reduced
 to a dress wearing ol cowgirl in shit kickers who can't afford the the reservation for three nights at the romantic mountain cabin retreat for two. You remember the place...  That would be here:

Not that money means all that much to me, but $6,414 is a chunk of change, or a new set of teeth.  Besides that, there is no special guy to take along. 
I could really use some advice about guys. Do you think it's the prickly rascal part, pranker part, lets ride like the wind, laugh til we cry, sit by the fire part, read books part, what???  Because I'm stumped, I tried for two whole days to be a gracious, sweet older lady, and was doing well (or so I thought) until, well let's just say that man at the feedstore should have been able to catch that bag of steer feed I tossed to him. He works there for cry'n out loud.
Possibly it has been too long since a bit of pranking has happened.  An opportunity not taken is wasted, so for Dad's poker party tomorrow night...


  1. 3 nights in a cabin for only $6,414...what a bargain. I'll loan you a tent (just as nice as that teepee in the front yard) for free, and loan you a camp stove just because I like you. Why, I'm even willing to throw in a fishing pole and some tackle so you can catch dinner (for under $6,414). Of course, I'm sure that they clean the trout for you for 6.4K.

    And if you weren't out there beating up on the feed store help, you could have had him, hog tied him in under 8 seconds and the rest of the evening would have been yours to enjoy in the privacy of your tent. (I'd prefer that you keep him bound because I don't want the tent to look like a wolverine overnighted in it)...

  2. I always found that if you stunned them first with the feedbag, they were easier to get into the back of the truck :-)

  3. More modern techniques involve a taser, but the feed sack should work.

  4. LL: Thanks, I have all my own gear in the back of my suv, even some ugh MREs.

    BRIGID: I myself have found the "Hot Shot" with all attachments to be an exciting choice.

    LL:I mentioned to a friend that a "Hot Shot" might be cheaper then her chiropractor,it never crossed my mind that she wouldn't know what that was. http://www.qcsupply.com/shop-by/brand/hot-shot.html

  5. http://www.qcsupply.com/shop-by/brand/hot-shot.html

    I noticed that they also sell assorted whips and poles for sorting in addition to the cattle prods. Is is a livestock company or a marital aid company?

  6. this is hilarious!
    TWO days of being gracious?? Heavens, I'd say some pranking is definitely in order. My fingers are crossed for a good story to come out of poker night. :)

  7. All this take of cattle prods and tent is getting me misty eyed.

  8. LL: Most are dual purpose, or so I have heard...

    JENNY: Pranking is a very serious art form, and as such must be well thought out and implemented with great care, or not...

    DIESEL SMOKE: Yep, brought back some fond memories that's for sure.

  9. I woke up with a jump when I read the first line. Note to self: It said 'shit kickers, there is no 'N' in it! :-)

    Looking forward to chapter two!

  10. ROTF... between the post and the comments, I need a new keyboard... Hot shots will ONLY piss off a Longhorn... trust me

  11. Two days of graciousness is enough to herniate the best of us. Go for a bit of pranking before you hurt yourself.
    Can't believe the price of that get a way.

  12. It appears that your old friend down the road a bit is not sure exactly what has happened here, in this post. I seem to be the only one, judging from all the advice in the comments.

    Is there a man working in the feed store with whom you would like to go to that romantic cabin?

    Or is there a man at your dad's poker game?

  13. $6,414 isn't a rental, it's a down payment. Next time throw a bag of steer manure instead of feed.

  14. GRANNYMAR: Cowgirl boots.

    OLD NFO: Glad I could bring some cheer to you!

    ARKANSAS PATTI: I can't say it was the hardest two days of my life, but darn close...

    CHERI BLOCK: I apologize, the post about mom & dad trying to find me a boyfriend kinda sets the stage. There are no current guys of interest...

    EURIPIDIES: It isn't even a good rental... There are meals, and a few other amenities, but Who the heck goes to these places at those prices. Plus Plus you are smack dab up against other people in the other $,$$$ cabins.

  15. B, if the poker game doesn't turn up results, you must revise your goals and come to Texas. No mountains or glowing teepees -- but we can absolutely find you a cowboy (who can manage a bag of feed... and then some). :) Bring your Hot Shot.

  16. PS Jenny - she also needs to bring her sortin' stick and whip.

  17. ...and if it's Sept 22, all the other items we discussed as well.

  18. JENNY: I would love to visit, don't know about living there as current immigration may not allow it since I was born in America. I would bring gear.

    LL: No whip'n allowed in this outfit.

  19. Surely you permit handcuffs.

  20. LL: In cow country we politely call them hobbles...

  21. What did you serve with that steer feed?

  22. Not real sure if I should say anything...But..What the hay.
    My wife of 30yrs just passed away in Feb. Of "Pics" disease..Dementia.So I for sure know what you are going through..
    Next time I'm down in your area I'll offer a dinner date. I'm a carnivore
    With my Winnebago getting 8 mpg you are a ways from Chelan Wa.
    What would it hurt?
    Hope this doesn't come across stupid...David

  23. ODIE: Water straight up.

    UPRIVERDAVID: I'm so sorry for your loss. That is a tough one.
    Let me know when your this way and I'll throw on an extra steak. My son lives near Battle Ground, so the next time I'm up there?
    Not stupid at all, nothing ventured nothing gained.