Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Bedpan Liner...

Being a caregiver is not well suited to my irreverent personality.  Standard Operating Procedure is not the norm for me.
What the heck is wrong with putting one of those musical buttons on the edge of the bedpan. That way it plays music when I put mom on it.  
So what if the RC heli wars get a little out of control and someone does a semi-hard landing on mom's backside.
 What does it hurt to make mom a milkshake for breakfast.  It has milk, eggs, frozen OJ, and bacon bits for crying out loud. My grandkids love them. 
The hospice crew are shaking their heads, Dad is looking to out fly me, mom is laughing.
Maybe I'm better at critters than people...

 
I have fixed a prolapsed heifer with a couple of boluses, a coke bottle, and a shoelace. I have put my arm up the butt of more than a few cows to help with a delivery.  Breathed into the snotty nose of many lambs, kittens, puppies, colts, calves, and one goat. And no one raised an eye brow.
  
The veterinarian I worked for said, "B,  If I let you do two sutures when I'm closing, will you get your head out of the operating field!" 

"Throw in that old pair of hemostats and you've got a deal, Doc."

Monday, February 10, 2014

Hanky Pranky...


Did you ever feel like you just needed a friend to bounce things off of?  Oh not rocks, or golf balls, or cow pies... but ideas, plans, and a prank or two.  
The prank thing I thought was going away as I matured, so either I haven't matured, or the laugh so hard you pee your wranglers prank is embedded permanently.  I hadn't done one since the blowup babe in the Cowman's pickup. Well that's not quite true: there was nail gunning the Cowman's glove (in a compromising position) to the deck we were building onto the house,

(the 12x20 deck the Cowman and I built on the back of the house all by ourselves)

 and the big, nude gnome in the creek at the neighbors (who the heck doesn't find that thing for a month, at least I was home from work to hear her howling with laughter when she found him). 
I have a few new ideas, but my three friends are nice, normal people, and seem to get that deer in the headlights look when I try to share.
The kids always go "Oh, No she has that look in her eyes!"  The grandkids, who make excellent cohorts, are too far away at the moment, and the Monday night Knotty Knitters group still have me on probation for ...
A bit of cabin fever seems to have set in, Road Trip time I'm thinking...  

Friday, February 7, 2014

Buck Snort News...

Yee Haw!!! We finally got the news today: My Grandpa's buck made #11 (scoring 168 4/8) in Columbia blacktail-non-typical antlers in Boone & Crockett.

 
 A Huge Thanks to my brother Buzz for getting grandpa's buck scored, doing all the leg work necessary to make this happen, and most of all for making our Dad's day. You rock Buzz!




even when...


Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Before Swine...

As a country kid I had 4-H to teach many a lesson. I took sewing, cooking, food preservation, interior decorating, shooting, lamb, swine, and beef steer projects.
  My first livestock project was a beef show steer when I was 10. He was a big lesson in persevering as he drug me thru the star thistle, mud and barb wire, kicked me across the pen, head butted me into any available cowpie and stomped on my feet.     
I had to develop a budget for the purchase of the steer, feed costs, supply costs, and what price I had to get for him at the Jr Livestock Auction in order to break even. It meant a trip to the bank to present my budget and request a loan. Yes, my parents co-signed, as I had yet to establish my own line of credit.  But, it was not guaranteed that I would get a loan if my numbers didn't jive. After I had secured a loan I then had to negotiate with the ranch I was purchasing the steer from.  After many months of raising that steer, I had to show him at the fair,  hustle for companies, neighbors, and businesses to bid on him.  After he was sold, at a profit thank goodness, I personally went to the buyers and thanked them, as well as sending a follow up letter that asked them to remember me at next year's auction. Then off to the bank, to pay off my loan & interest.  Put some money in my college fund, and some in a working capital savings acct, and spend a little on school clothes. Then my 4-H record book had to be turned into my leader, detailing all that had been done since the purchase of my project steer. After a few goes like that I was able to self fund my show projects out of the working capitol savings acct.  But the lessons on doing business and persevering were in place.  
Some of my project animals, swine & lambs, I didn't have to purchase.  I worked out a deal with a local sheepman to raise some of his bummer lambs, (lambs that the mothers wouldn't take) getting to keep two lambs each season.  Traded work with a local farmer for feed, and I was off showing & selling lambs. 
The swine I got in the 4-H pig scramble. The pigs were donated, put in an arena, and by age group, all the kids that wanted to participate could.  But, you had to promise that you would raise your pig and show it and sell it at the Jr. Livestock auction.  There were always more kids than pigs, so you had to be fast on your feet and willing to get mud and shit from one end of you to other, with no guarantees that you would end up with a pig.  Some how I managed to catch one each year, again worked a deal with a local farmer for the feed, and increased my working capital.  After enough times with a mouth full of pig shit and mud I decided I wanted to just raise show steers.
That is the way we raised our kids too, and I think it has served them well. They have carried on that practice with their kids, my grandkids, and I hope it continues going forward.
 I cherish my memories of a little girl with blond pigtails, in a ratty shirt, cutoffs and boots, washing a 1,200 lb show steer in the heat of a long summer day.