Saturday, March 4, 2017

Running out of time...

Dad is fading, I took him to see his VA doc Tuesday, and we discussed getting Hospice in place. Dad was all for it and said he was ready to go.
I did the intake evals with the nurse, and social worker, and signed the Hospice papers on Friday. Dad will be able to stay home, and comfortable.  They have been sending supplies and info, and have been very supportive.  I have been down this road with mother, so some of it is known.
Dad is in no pain, other than the occasional twinge from a pressure sore, that the nurse and I have been aggressively treating.  We get a hospital bed on Monday, and that will help with re-positioning him, and changing him.  He is very weak, and fragile.  He is taking some liquids, but it is difficult for him. He doesn't really want to eat anything, nothing tastes good, not even his ol favorites.  If he decides he would like a certain food, I make it and two bites later he says, no thanks.
 We talked about his last wishes for quite sometime the other night.  He wants to give me all the guns but two, all his tools, and the much prized fly rod & reel that was my grandpa's.  (I'm not looking forward to when my brother finds this out.) 
Dad doesn't want any services, just his ashes scattered at an old hunting camp in the high country. 

Dad & his best friend Oscar


It's where he scattered his best friend's ashes years ago.  I asked him if he wanted to be driven up there or flown.  "Do you think you could fly my ashes up there, Sis?"   " Damn straight I will if that's what you want!" I replied.  He got a big grin on his face, and said that would be good, he would like that very much.
My brother is on his way from Idaho to see him, and I kinda think Dad is just hanging tough long enough to speak to him.

51 comments:

  1. Sending you my love and prayers.

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  2. Prayers for you both, Brig. Hospice can be a huge help. Glad they're there for you.

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    1. Adrienne,
      Thanks. They sure are, Mother refused them due to dementia and it made everything that much harder for us caregivers.

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  3. Such a hard, heart-wrenching time. You have my prayers, and this, which may provide some comfort and relief.

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    1. shoreacres,
      Thank you for the prayers and the beautiful song.

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  4. I'm sad for you, Brig. Even so far removed from your situation, I will truly miss hearing the stories about what you and your dad have been up to. Y'all have made me smile and laugh countless times!

    Sounds like he has had a full and fun life, and I will keep y'all in my prayers during this home stretch.
    Hugs and love.

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    1. jenny,
      I am pleased that we have made you smile and laugh.
      He has had a very full and good life, may we all be so blessed.
      Hugs and Love to you.

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  5. You've been a champion with your dad. Always there for him. I know he is proud of you, and you can know you have done your best for him. Prayers for you both.

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    1. cw swanson,
      Thank You for the kind words, and the prayers.

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  6. God bless you and be with you both during this difficult time.

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    1. drjim,
      God has blessed me with a Dad who loves me, I can ask for no more.

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  7. I will miss the stories of Dad, floating, fishing and having the occasional beer in Old Ugly. Love to you, to your family and to Dad.

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    1. LL,
      Thank you, I hope to include more tales of his exploits down the road.

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  8. Oh, Brig .... my thoughts and heart go out to you and your family. No words can say what I feel. Hospice nurses are angels. I know. Please tell your Dad how much we adore him and give him a big hug from all of us. And a very, very special hug for you.

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    1. chickenmom,
      Thanks, I will let him know you are thinking of him. And I appreciate that hung more than you know.

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  9. I think you are doing everything just right. I admire you and pray for you and your Dad.

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    1. changes in the wind,
      Well that will certainly be a first, lol. Thank you for the prayers.

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  10. Losing a devoted parent who has always had you at the center of his/her life is a profound experience. Your bessing and gift from your father is that you spent most of your time with him. Very few people seize this gift. After he passes, go out a fire one of his guns. Love to you and to him.

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    1. Cheri Block,
      The time I have had with him as an adult has been very special indeed, and I will always be glad for it.
      Thank You for the Love.

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  11. My dear friend Brig you are good and brave though I know this is so very difficult. You have shared such wonderful adventures with your dad and you must tell him that we all love him too. God bless you both and the rest of the family.

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    1. Granny Annie,
      I'm cherishing this special time with him, and just want him to go in peace.
      Thank you for your friendship.

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  12. So sorry to read this. I hope that he has any of his last wishes in writing to avoid anything unpleasant later. Families can literally be torn apart over things. Sad. I hope he gets a peaceful end and for you strength. I also want to be cremated but have never decided where the ashes should go-- other than not in a fancy urn.

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    1. Rain Trueax,
      He has some of it in writing, and some not, doing it his way. I am not concerned with the stuff, and his things that mean something to me, have no value for others.

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  13. Be thankful he is aware and can communicate. My mother passed four days ago after nearly five years in a near vegetative state. It is never easy.

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    1. Well Seasoned Fool,
      I am thankful that he is still sharp, and asking me to tell him bullshit stories as it is difficult for him to speak. He can still smile and gets that sparkle in his eyes when he pulls a fast one on me.
      So sorry to read about your mom, I would not wish that experience on my worst enemy, much less a friend.

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  14. So sorry to hear this. Thoughts and prayers for you and the family. Know that you've done everything you could, it's in God's hands now.

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    1. Old NFO,
      Thanks Jim for the thoughts and prayers, they mean a lot.

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  15. Aw Brig I am so sorry your Dad has reached this stage. It is good however that you can talk about it. So often we awkwardly dance around the inevitable and last wishes and words just don't get said. So glad he is pain free and with you. Sending hugs from Arkansas.

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    1. Arkansas Patti,
      It is all a part of living and dying, he has had a good long life. We talk about it because it's important to say what we feel.
      Thank you for those Arky hugs!

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  16. So very sorry to read of this, Brig. Having gone thru this process with my Dad some years ago, I can understand your feelings.
    Treasure these moments, and stay strong.
    Thanks for sharing- your support is an inspiration.

    =T.W.=

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    1. =T.W.=
      Thank you for the words of encouragement and kindness.

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  17. You are what he made you. You know what he taught you. You have what he gave you. You are well-prepared to carry-on for him. Tell him you would have no Dad but him. Commend him to God.The death of Christ is the death of death. The resurrection of Christ is the birth of eternal life... "he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:" John 11:25.

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    1. Ed Long,
      What beautiful words, thank you.

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  18. Sorry to hear that he is fading. But so good for you both that you have had the opportunity to have this time together. May he go easy.

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    1. Nelly,
      Thanks I wish him a good journey as well.

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  19. Hospice can be a true blessing. Am so glad he was able to go to Idaho recently. And am so glad you can spend this time with him, and he is able to be home with you. You will need to continue to write stories about him, I think many of us have enjoyed getting to know your Dad and what a great man he is. Hugs to both you and your Dad. And a big thank you for sharing him with us.

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    1. Suz,
      Thank you, I am glad that you have enjoyed the journey, and it has been my pleasure to share some of our time.

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  20. You can fly a plane? Good Grief, Woman, is there anything you can't do? No wonder you are Badger Approved!

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    1. SCOTTtheBADGER,
      Nope, but I make a half way decent co pilot, so I'm pretty sure I can talk one of the guys into flying us up there.
      Does this mean I'm no longer Badger Approved?

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    2. Still very much Badger Approved!

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  21. God bless you in this tough time, Brig. What you're doing is quite angelic.

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    1. GruntOfMonteCristo,
      Thanks, I know you mean well, but I'm pretty darn sure angelic doesn't apply to me.

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  22. Oh damn Brig. I wish there were words ... If you need anything let me know. I'm close enough to where I could help.

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    1. Woodsterman,
      Thanks, We've got this, but I sure appreciate the offer.

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  23. I'm just fresh from the loss of a good friend's hubby, so I can feel the unreal "silent" gauze you're wrapped up in.

    Hugs to you and all of your wonderful family, Brig.

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    1. Barbar Cat,
      Sorry for your friend's loss, and thank you for all the hugs.

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  24. My prayers are with you and him. God bless you both.

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    1. LSP,
      Thanks Padre, prayers are always welcome.

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  25. Damn. That had to be hard to write let alone post. I am so sorry to hear this.

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    1. BW Bandy,
      Being able to take care of Dad on the end of his journey, is an honor I feel blessed to be given.

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