When I was much younger my Granny Mid (Dad's mother) used to take me with her to tend the graves of long gone relatives. There were several different graveyards to make the rounds in. It was always interesting to me to hear Granny Mid's stories about people that I never would have known of without her telling me stories about them.
Granny Mid and grandpa, and a baby brother, rest in the shadow of the smallest mountain range in the West. My grandparents have flat headstones, and little brother just had a round disk with a number. I didn't know til maybe 30 years ago that there was a brother between my younger brother and I. No one ever talked of him. He was stillborn. It hurt my heart that he only had a little disk with a number to show that he ever existed. I got him a concrete angel to do over watch for me.
When I lived closer to their graves I would often stop by to make sure the flowers were changed, and the angel that I got for Granny Mid was looking out for her as well. But mostly I would stop for a few minutes to say a pray for baby brother, and talk to Granny while I cleaned around the stones. I try to bring a happy heart to that place, but sometimes it's tears, and that's ok. Granny would understand.
Now that I don't live so close to Granny Mid's grave, I have taken to caring for my mother-in-law's grave here. Often during the years since she passed away I've gone by her grave, to check up on it or maybe just check in with her. I miss her, she was my mentor of life and loving.
She and my FIL have flat headstones. Not quite sure why those bother me, I don't want a headstone, and my ashes will go rest high on that mountain next to the Cowman.
When I moved up here I started out taking seasonal flowers to my MIL's grave. There is always one yellow rose in the bouquet as that was her favorite flower. I got her a Madonna, the flowers stay til I change them out with the seasons, but the concrete Madonna disappeared. I don't know if it was a grave robbing tweaker or the gardeners busted it while mowing. After a while I found a big concrete Angel to place there. I glued that one down and it stayed for a few years. Last fall it too disappeared. Pretty sure it was the dang grave robbing tweakers, again. When I move away I won't be around to tend her grave, so I got her another Angel to do over watch duty.
This one I'm going to epoxy to the top of a concrete post and epoxy that to the surround. I'd really like to hot wire it, but with my luck a family member would be the one that got bit.
Soon as I find the concrete post and get the Angel up the easier it may be to move on.
MySean visits his dad, the Cowman, as often as he can, and is having a plague made to mark the area where his ashes are. So there is another grave tender in the family to carry on...