Tuesday, October 25, 2016

H A R D W A R E...





Tis the season for projects and repairs around Dad's house. 
I learned how to install kerf door seal around the back door. Some rascally little dog (named Willie) had done a number on the old weather striping.
I sure miss the old Lyon & Garrett hardware store, where you could ask for darn near anything and they knew what it was, and where it was. It was a blessing, when you drove 15 miles into town for parts, the Cowman was waiting impatiently for.
 
Not so much these days with the Ass-ociates at HD. 
First item,
The kerf door seal: Fair warning, the Ass-ociates at HD don't know what it is, or where it is. (Message me and I can tell you.)
Next item, 
I needed stove bolts for a project of Dad's and that's what I asked the second Mr Ass-ociate for: Six stove bolts, and 12 hex nuts.
"Please don't tell me you have never heard of stove bolts, Mr Ass-ociate." 
You haven't, and you don't think they exist. "Can I spell it for you?"
"Sure thing bucko, err Mr Ass-ociate... S T O V E bolts." 
"You still don't think there is such a thing."
"Alrighty then, can you point me to the isle with the machine screws?"
"You can, because you have tons of them, great, thanks."
Next item, 
 "I need a roll of emery cloth, can you tell me which isle?"
You can't, you've never heard of emery cloth.  What is it used for?
"Sanding, If my phone was working I could probably find it myself."
"You are trying to find it on your phone, great! Sure I can spell it for you...E M E R Y cloth."  
"Oh you need me to spell the whole thing... 
E M E R Y  C L O T H."
"You are going to get someone in another dept to help me find it. Thanks."
Four Ass-ociates later, I had everything on my list and was out of there.





  

28 comments:

  1. I would make a great Ass-ociate for HD because I haven't heard of any of those things. I would have guessed though that the emery cloth was sand paper:-) Now will you please come here and put clear silicone in the ridges on my metal roof that didn't extend far enough over the edge and water blows into my attic?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Granny Annie,
      LOL, I helped the Cowman roof a barn, once. Never again, Sorry! By the way, your new paint job looks great. I have a gallon of custom Gray Horse that I can't wait to get on a wall.

      Delete
  2. Emery cloth is useful stuff. I once bought an A&W mug that had a bump on the rim that while it was round, and presented no danger, was annoying. Emery cloth took it right off!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SCOTTtheBADGER,
      It is handy stuff to have around. Lately, I've been using it when installing pipe fittings.

      Delete
  3. I never go to HD. Worked for them once. That job lasted about 2 weeks. Terrible place. Our peeps at the local Lowe's are very knowledgeable, but I usually go to Ace where everyone is either a retired plumber, electrician, or former contractor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adrienne,
      I wouldn't go there, but for the fact that it's there or Wally World (which I refuse to go to). Our Ace closed last year, sigh. Next option is many miles away.

      Delete
  4. That is why I go to ACE hardware. They are very helpful at least here anyhow(-: HD=worthless help. Next time try ACE and see if they are up on the things they sell there(-:

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CiNdEe,
      I liked our RB Ace, but they closed it last year. Damn!

      Delete
  5. There's an actual hardware store in town - not one of those chain stores (though we have a Lowes and a HD). It's always packed, and it has everything. Sometimes I just go and hang out, because it's cool. Two or three visits ago, I went out back where they have lawn chairs. Guys were sitting around a cooler full of iced-down beer, just B. S. ing. You never see that at an HD. The discussion moved from plumbing to automobile batteries to what a filthy cur Hillary is.

    The guys were all there to buy stuff, but took time out to chat. A real hardware store often has that sort of assembly, blend of tradesmen who take a moment to talk to others like themselves who are not politically correct. They drift in, then they get back to work wherever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LL,
      Love hardware stores like that! Where the long time customers are as helpful as the staff, and they know how to do things, and are more than willing to explain methods.
      Those special hardware stores are a great source for finding local tradesmen as well.
      It is a bummer that I'm 45 minutes away from the iconic Collier Hardware...

      Delete
  6. Stove bolts, more technically referred to as round head machine screws, and sometimes carriage bolts, but stove bolts are as good a description as any that any hardware guy worth his salt should know.

    My dad called the stove bolts, so the term has perhaps lost favor over the many decades that these stove bolts were actually used to bolt stoves together (who knew?).

    Not all HD Ass-ociates are as clueless as the ones you ran into. Some are, but most are really pretty knowledgeable. That is, if you don't ask a guy in the mill work section what kind of fertilizer is best for your lawn in the fall.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fredd,
      They sure as heck are that clueless here! (I am just barely bright enough to ask the guy in each department.)
      Don't even get me started on the garden department Ass-ociates...

      Delete
  7. We lost our local small town, family run hardware store 10 years ago, when we got both a Lowes & HD in a town only big enough to support one. But there is still a good local one nearby, and the Murdock's Ranch Supply isn't too bad. My biggest problem is that I can't get Grade 8 or better automotive/truck bolts at those places any more. The quality of the Chinese steel in the hardware is pretty cheesy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Grunt: yes, coming by hardened bolts is problematic these days. Used to be you could walk into Ace and get any grade bolt your heart desired. Not anymore. If you have an automotive application that requires a hardened bolt, you may as well just get out your computer, find an American company (not Chinese) and special order them, no other way.

      Sigh.

      Delete
    2. GruntOfMonteCristo,
      Getting quality tools is difficult these days. While others are pawing through the doilies at estate sales, I go for the tools that have stood the test of time...

      Delete
    3. Thanks. Good points, both of you. And good idea looking for serious tools at estate sales, Brig!

      Delete
  8. I feel your pain and sure do miss the hometown hardware store where they actually knew what they carried and where it was to be found. They could also give you advice how to handle a project. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Arkansas Patti,
      I worked retail in a small town feed store/garden center for several years before moving down to Marymine's. So I get frustrated when I see customers being treated poorly.

      Delete
  9. The local HD had a retired master electrician working the electrical aisle, they transferred him to the lawn and garden department. He quit shortly thereafter, Don't know if that was the stores plan though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. jon spencer,
      That seems to be their staffing pattern, it doesn't make sense to me.

      Delete
  10. The old Brown's Hardware in Carmichael, near Sacramento. All the shelving hand made. Once, one of the employees showed me a nice gold nugget he'd sluiced out of the American River. Good times, long gone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. c w swanson,
      Wonder if there are some great ol photos.
      The ol feed stores and hardware stores were always such great meeting places.

      Delete
  11. Nope, they don't know jack any more... sigh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Old NFO,
      and they don't want to listen to ol timers,
      just turn the cheapo merchandise...

      Delete
  12. Wow, those poor bastards didn't stand a chance with you ... LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Woodsterman,
      I was very nice to those Ass-ociates.

      Delete
  13. I grieved when Lyon and Garrett went out of business. I still have a brace and set of wood bits that I bought there while still an apprentice.
    Did you ever go down to the basement? I was told that originally that it was the first floor of the building and became the basement when they filled the low spots in Main Street.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. waepnedmann,
      Yes I did, it was an adventure!
      Did not know that about the first floor, you have tweaked my interest, and I will be reading up on it.
      One of my SIL's has a bunch of crockery from the tunnels that used to run under downtown.

      Delete