Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Catching up...

Wednesday already!  
Let's see,  Sunday morning at oh dark thirty cousin Jess and I went up to the range so he could participate in an Outlaw Handgun Shootout that my local shoot'n club was putting on. It was rather warm, but we had fun and Jess did well, considering the last ones he shot in were in Texas.  I just watched because I wanted to see what it was all about.  It was also a good opportunity to pick Jess's brain, meet other members of the Assn. and learn some new skills. 
Jess's last stage of the shootout:


Came home and worked all afternoon in the yard. Was pretty tuckered out, but that evening I got an invite to my SIL's new swim spa. Dang but that thing is sweet.  Swam against strong current, but didn't last very long before retreating to the corner with the message jets and a big glass of wine.  There isn't much that thing doesn't have... all kinds of lights, fountains, jets, etc.  


Going back out tonight to fix their DVD player, dinner, a swim, and to get all my orders as I'm going to be the spa girl while they are on vacation!  And suddenly I have friends, that want to help me take care of the spa... hmmm

We have had a few days were the weather was nice enough that I could spend most of the day working on getting this yard in shape to put the house on the market. Still hauling brush and mother's dang yard chachkies to the landfill.  
More time with the attorney, and paper work, and banks, and all the rest.  My brother is questioning every move I make as executor. I don't understand why he is taking that path, but I'm pretty sure Dad would not be happy about the attitude.  Can only do my best to settle the estate per Dad's wishes, get the house sold, and move on. 
Ok, break time is over, back to brush whacking, and the weed eater, and showing a friend how to make hollyhock dolls.  When my granddaughters were little little I showed them how to make them. They would spend hours playing with their hollyhock dollies.  




18 comments:

  1. Sorry about your bother, er, brother. We had one sister who did that to the sis that was the executrix. She thot it should have been her!? This to shall pass but pointless.

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    1. Celia,
      It is what it is, and I will remain hopeful til there isn't any.

      Delete
  2. Sorry to hear about the 'family' issue... Amazing how often that crops up. Friend is dealing with a similar issue right now down here.

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    1. Jim,
      My attorney says it happens a lot more than most people realize.

      Delete
  3. I'm thinking about a living trust to replace a will and sort of giving everything away in advance of shuffling off the mortal coil. I don't know that it will solve disputes, but maybe it's worth the effort?

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    1. Larry,
      It is worth the effort to do a trust, and makes things much easier over all. I wanted Dad to put his estate in a trust, and had the attorney discuss it with him & I. Dad didn't feel it was worth the extra cost. Nothing I could do after that, but execute the will per his wishes.

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  4. Sorry about the executor problems. It can break some families apart, which is so sad because please-- over stuff!

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    1. Rain,
      I will survive this, but the relationship with my brother has been stretched to the breaking point, and that is sad.

      Delete
  5. I am the executor of my mother's will. I only have a sister. I am hoping that when the time comes there will be no issues.

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    1. BW,
      There is just my brother and I inheriting.
      For your sake I would encourage you to have her wishes as rock solid as you can get them, and well known between the three of you.
      Dad & I did all that, and yet...

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  6. LL: put everything in a trust...it makes things so much easier. Some families go through the separation of property and things in a loving respectful way. Others view the experience like human wrecking balls. Most of the time these behaviors emanate from unresolved issues within the family dynamic.

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    1. Cheri,
      I'm in total agreement with your advice to LL. I could not get Dad to do it that way.

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  7. Neither of my children are successor trustees. I have named my oldest brother and a good friend of mine so that my two children are not caught up in a power struggle.

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    1. Granny Annie,
      I became the oldest living member of our family when Dad passed away at 93. I asked Dad to have someone else named executor, he insisted it was to be me as he trusted me to fulfill his wishes. I'm trying very hard to do just that.
      There are other issues at play here.

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  8. Worth thinking about your experience for me as I don't want anything to disrupt the relationship my son and daughter have though they've assured me it won't. I do know from that of other family members that when $$$ are involved or even much less, some can get their jockey shorts or panties in a twist over the least little thing. As someone else said here, for some the problems can be rooted in dynamics from earlier in life, or sometimes I think it's for totally illogical reasons no one could figure out.

    I get tired just reading about all you're doing -- but, it does remind me of how much I used to do in years past. May be good to have to be so occupied so can't just sit, brood and grieve if you would be tempted to do so. I haven't done any shooting since I was young and we lived out in the country in a couple very different states. I was pretty accurate with the 22 in informal target practice, but in order to be allowed to use the gun, I had to first learn all the safety and usage rules, plus how to keep it in pristine clean condition. Didn't care as much for the shotgun and also had a brief experience with an Army 45. Never got to the 30.06 which was the proud possession of one family member. Hard for some to understand about guns. But in our household then, whether hunting or fishing, seeking game was for a purpose -- for food, protection of our other animals, or would have been for ourselves though that need never occurred -- never just for entertainment against other living creatures or to acquire stuffed wall hangings. We had no use for guns when we left rural life. City-dwellers might well be better off without them.

    Hope all goes well for you and in time family issues will lessen, even dissolve.

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    1. Every families dynamics are different, but a lot can be easier if the estate is but in a trust. I have my thoughts about who started this, but they are unsubstantiated.
      We are a family of shooters and hunters. We were all raised to handle guns with care and respect. We hunt for food for our families and provide for those who are unable to hunt anymore.
      Besides that most of us shoot recreationaly and carry for protection. City dwellers are usually more in need of the protection they afford than those of us in the country, at least in California.
      Thanks for the good wishes.

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  9. Oh...meant to add....Hollyhock Dolls really cute -- never saw them before. I recall my mother saying there were so many hollyhocks on their Great Lakes area farm where she grew up that they had to cut them back as would get out of hand. I wonder if she ever knew about making dolls from the bloom as she never mentioned it and always was very much into making "something" from most anything. I've always wondered if that creative turn was more typical of her generation, or stemmed from living on a farm with the need to improvise in all sorts of situations -- maybe a little of both.

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    1. I wish I could remember who taught me about them. My granny always had hollyhocks in her garden, but I don't think she was the one who showed me. It is old craft, but most of my friends have taught their daughters/granddaughters about them.

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